Don’t do authority well? Here’s why you might want to.
I don’t do authority and structure well…. I’m a little rebellious. I’m a fluid* person. I like spontaneity.
- frequently heard
*Fluid: flowing with what feels right in the moment when making a decision to do or not do something. Sometimes used interchangeably with spontaneous, or intuitive.
I appreciate these sentiments because I used to say them. Other words get used, like rigidity. I’m just going to say it: these words and statements put up limitations the moment they are spoken.
I’d like to break some of these words down with you and get your thoughts on them: authority, structure, and spontaneity.
Authority
We’re all adults here. We have been for quite some time. So the only real authority here is ourselves.
There is no real outside authority, even if you work for someone. The notion of authority comes from an old mistaken belief that was instilled in us as children by our well-meaning guardians, teachers, and most adults: that they are the authority of you. That they are your “boss.” The truth is, they, as well as every other human being given a leadership role, are stewards. They’ve been given an opportunity to guide and serve you to become your own authority. A leadership role is a service role (otherwise, that role has been abused).
So we have come to believe that structure of any kind is an authority issue. Even ones we give to ourselves. What it really is is a SELF AUTHORITY issue, because you are your highest authority. The word author is contained in the word, and you are the author of you, no one else.
Doing personal growth work means to take your baggage (authority issues) and turn it into your superpower (self authority). That’s it.
So I’d love for us to call it what it is from now on. When you catch yourself about to say I have authority issues, try this out instead: I have self-authority issues. This will stop you, cause you to question what you’re actually saying, and put real power back into your hands.
Structure
Structure is necessary.
Your body provides you with structure and support through the musculoskeletal system. When this structure is damaged, you ache, and your ability to engage in daily activities can become limited. Your reduced agility means limited spontaneity.
Cars have structure: engine, transmission, steering, wheels…. Imagine what could happen driving in a car that has old, unmaintained, structural parts in need of replacement. Scary.
See the above image of water flying out of the glass. The structure of the glass gives it the ability to fly, and it looks cool. Without the glass, the water falls to the ground, shapeless. The water with the glass elicits something different than without. Even the massive oceans are contained in structure: Earth.
We need structure in our days. It’s what allows us to fully experience spontaneity, self-authority, and ultimately, freedom on our own terms. Unstructured days - we might call them vacation, or time off - are only good for so long before we begin to feel purposeless and existentially anxious.
Spontaneity
True spontaneity feels adventurous, bold, and grounded. It’s a celebration of life that is felt equally pleasurable as the amount of self-authority you put into your day… in the same way savasana (relaxation) provides you with greater pleasure the more you put into the asana (the yoga poses that come before it).
Spontaneity without structure can feel like self authority in the moment, but it’s often rooted in something else - procrastination. Spontaneity without structure can leave you feeling less grounded afterwards, unpredictable in mood, uncertain what happens next, bored, and unmotivated. This comes from a delay in, or dismissal of, self-authority.
Bonus word: Grit
Going with what feels right sounds good, but is a big myth that undermines self-authority, structure, and spontaneity.
Why? When you’re trying to change something in your life, learn new skills, and grow into your next best self, those new habits and ways of thinking you’re trying to implement won’t feel right. You’re in unfamiliar territory. They are uncomfortable because you’re not used to them yet. Until you are, AND THEN they feel right.
The "feeling right” to follow is your core values and high-level dreams - the ones that don’t change from moment to moment and from mood to mood. Pay attention to what they are.
This bridge we all must cross to get from not feeling right to feeling right gives us what we call grit.
Structure and self authority leads to grit. Grit leads to true spontaneity, freedom, and ability to say yes to opportunities that line up with your core values and dreams.
With Love, Grit, and Gratitude,
Savitree