When people say they want to meditate, I’ve been known to ask them:
Do you want to meditate? Or do you want to want to meditate?
Because the difference between the two is humongous.
Have you ever caught yourself saying, about anything you want to do: “I wish I could do that”?
I know I have.
And if I’m being honest, I’m not telling myself the full truth. Because when I actually say it out loud to someone, and they give me solutions, or point me in that direction, I find reasons why their guidance doesn’t resonate.
In the movie The Matrix, Neo, the main character (played by Keanu Reaves), instantaneously knows Kung Fu by getting the skill downloaded to his brain via a port that exists in the back of his head.
When I say I wish I could do that, what I really mean is, if I can have that skill instantaneously downloaded into my brain, I want that. Otherwise, not that much.
And by that, I mean I’m not willing to put in the work. It’s not that important to me. At least not today.
And that’s okay!
I just think that we’d all be happier if we got the difference.
And I recognize that what I just said is over-simplified.
I’ve wanted things in the past that I kept trying and failing at… believing that I wanted it. And to this day I want it. Like writing. I wanted to be a writer, so I kept trying. And today I am one. The difference is, today…
I carve out time.
I think and breathe writing.
I sit through the frustration of figuring out how to articulate things.
I hit publish and, increasingly, I’m letting more people know about it.
Before…
I wasn’t ready to carve out, and essentially fight for, dedicated time.
I didn’t shut out the distractions and put in the work.
I wouldn’t put out the work I did that felt imperfect (this was exhausting).
I wanted to want to be a writer.
Aside from writing, I didn’t do many other things in the past because I thought they would meet dead ends, as in “not be practical” (enter my parents’ voices). Or because I didn’t believe in myself. Or because I wasn’t in inspired, or I was tired. Or because various other things demanded my attention, and I decided to make them priority. I wanted to want to write.
Distinguish between wanting to
and wanting to want to.
Once you know you want to, you’ll stop trying and you’ll just do it. And you’ll do it badly. That’s the beginning of mastering anything.
So if you want to meditate, meditate.
Stop telling yourself it’s hard, you don’t know what to do, and that you don’t have the time.
Everything is hard when you lean too hard into external forces. When you decide to do it, it becomes simple. Not necessarily easy, but simple. Easy is cheap, consumptive, and short-lived. Ease on the other hand, is the highest form of surrender, the greatest source of power, and an iconic demonstration of personal strength. And it becomes fun.
Do anything that looks like meditation. YouTube and choose something. One search result leads to another. One book, one teacher, one post, leads to another. Ease into and enjoy the journey. Stop wondering if you’re doing it right, or complaining about how hard it is. Just f*#in fake it, and at the same time, genuinely set an intention to become a different person at the end of it. Keep meditating until you feel like you changed a little bit. By doing all this, you are creating a new algorithm: on the internet, in your personal network, and in every cell of your body.
We all have time. Whether we manage it or not is another question. My boyfriend, a retired CPA, loves to share a reframe he once heard about how they (the accounting firm) might expect clients who are going through tough financial times to pay for their service. One wise cohort said: if the company is making $5M and spending $5.3M, that company is still choosing where to pay that $5.3. If they’re telling us they don’t have it, what are they saying about us? —Same goes with time.
Can’t get up in the morning, ideally the best time to do it because the rest of the day is filled with too many distractions making it easy to forget? The solution: Get up in the morning. As Dr. Joe Dispenza says: Act greater than how you feel. Put another way: Act greater than the familiar feelings of your memorized (saboteur) self.
Stop telling yourself that you’ll get started once this project is over, or when your house guest leaves in two weeks, or that you need to set up your perfect meditation space first, or you have to first find the meditation that resonates with you because some of it feels weird. All of it feels weird until it’s not. Just learn to sit and close your eyes and focus on your breath. Or chant along with a recording (it’s actually easier to focus on).
And if you’re concluding that you want to want to, then let the idea of meditation go and do something else you actually want to do. Just choose something that makes you authentically larger than life rather than small enough to fit into a small box that empowers others at your expense.
Have courage.
Do or do not. There is no try. —Yoda
Love,
Savitree
'Easy' read! ;)
Great tips on how to make mediation an easier and more natural part of the day.