Why I'm not building a big community

A seat at the table, prepared with intention. Image by rawpixel from Pixabay.

I’ve joined many groups. Substack growth groups, collab circles, membership communities promising connection, accountability, and support.

Most of them have the same problem: they’re big, broad, and it seems like the facilitator is optimizing for their growth, not mine.

Here’s what I keep seeing:

• Too many members with just a few vocal ones; most don’t know each other

• “Engagement” that’s really just people posting into the void

• Facilitators who show up just enough to keep things moving, but not enough to actually see you

• Collaboration threads that require you to sort through noise to find anything relevant

• A vague promise of “community” without a clear outcome

They’re built for scale, not depth.

I flipped back and forth on building a community myself because I didn’t want another one like the above out there.

When I had a studio, I had an amazing community. We practiced yoga, meditation, Ayurveda, and cooking (food as meditation). I closed it in 2021, and to this day, people say they really miss it—it was their home away from home.

From that community, I carried forward into the online space an intimate group of Wise Women that’s been with me since. The main practice is daily morning meditation with a similar goal that I have with Food as Medicine: restored cognitive capacity and internal authority. Meaning: they could build a life they own, having the energy and space to do their most meaningful work without feeling guilty, overwhelmed, resentful, and exhausted by 3pm.

Engaging with you through my writing here on Substack is such a gift; I love this platform. And—I know that a more personal touchpoint would elevate the game, for both of us.

So I decided to build a community here. Something different.

Who this is for

You know something’s off.

You’re exhausted in a way that rest doesn’t fix.

Your days happen to you instead of being designed by you. You know you want slower, gentler, kinder, but you can’t stop grinding because the grind feels safe.

You’re reactive. Reactive eating, reactive scheduling, reactive living. Deciding what to eat when you’re already hungry. Saying yes when you mean no. Staying up late to steal “me time” because the day gave you none.

You wake up with dread and feel relieved when it’s bedtime—but also not so relieved, so you push past tired and pay for it the next morning.

You’re running on borrowed energy and calling it “capable.”

I see you. And I know there’s another way.

What I actually want

I’ve told a group I currently belong to that this year my focus is to monetize my Substack. But here’s the caveat:

I don’t care about gaining paid subscribers if they aren’t getting results. Yes, I understand that not everyone will do the work and subscribe anyway. But I want to get to know those who will.

I’m not here to build an audience. I’m here to affect change—real, measurable shifts in how people live, work, and make decisions.

That requires intimacy. It requires me to actually know who’s in the room. It requires a container small enough that I can see patterns, ask follow-up questions, and offer something more than surface-level encouragement.

This excites me. And it’s completely sustainable—as long as it’s capped.

So I’m building small. On purpose.

The Anchor Circle

I’ve started a private circle for paid members—and I’m capping it at 12.

This is not a course. There are no modules. It’s a practice space.

We use the warm, on-time lunch as an anchor—not because lunch is magic, but because it’s the smallest, most ordinary place to practice internal authority. To notice where you’re reactive vs. proactive. To see what you’re protecting and what you’re giving away.

Lunch is the excuse. The real work is learning to trust your own signals—about food, time, and what actually matters.

Here’s the structure:

• Async check-ins that fit your life—show up once a week, even briefly, and that’s enough

• Witnessing each other’s patterns and shifts

• Frameworks I share from two decades of teaching internal authority—listening in and trusting enough to take aligned action

• Honest feedback when you’re stuck

Here’s what becomes possible:

• Grounded energy at 3pm instead of fog and crash—you stop reaching for coffee, wine, sugar, media, or a meaningless to-do activity to get your dopamine hit

• Waking up clear and looking forward to your day instead of dread

• Scheduling yourself in your calendar—and showing up for it

• Mutual exchange in your relationships instead of living off their urgency

• Saying no without apology

• Being present with the people in your life because you’re already full—not forcing it from empty

When I first felt this shift, I was happy to see my children when they ran to me first thing in the morning—because I was awake, clear, already “full.” Same in the afternoon when it was time to pick them up from school.

The result is a natural ability to be present. To feel relaxed in your own skin. To feel like you are the author of your life.

This won’t be for everyone.

This is right for you if:

• You’re already seeing results from the warm lunch practice and want to go deeper

• You want a small, intimate space instead of a big community

• You’re willing to show up weekly, even briefly

• You want to be witnessed and to witness others

• You’re ready to design your days instead of react to them

This is not for you if:

• You’re looking for a course with modules and content to consume

• You want to lurk without participating

• You need daily hand-holding (this is a practice space, not crisis support)

• You’re not yet committed to the lunch anchor

How it works

The Anchor Circle is included with paid membership ($120/year)—but it’s capped at 12.

If you’re interested, fill out the short intake form below.
When there’s space, I’ll reach out to those who seem like a fit.
If it’s full, you’ll be added to the waitlist and I’ll contact you when a spot opens.

The Circle meets on WhatsApp. When a spot opens, I’ll reach out via Substack DM first, then add you to the group.

Before joining the Circle, you’ll complete the Day in the Life Assessment—a diagnostic that maps your current rhythm and shows you where you’re operating from depletion instead of capacity. It takes 15-30 minutes and gives you a baseline to track your shifts over time.

You can choose your format:

• Google Form (structured, printable, self-guided)

• AI Coach (interactive, personalized analysis, concrete next steps in my coaching voice)

The AI version gives you immediate, personalized feedback. The Google Form is there if you prefer a traditional format. Either way, you’ll see your patterns clearly before we start working together.

I’m not in a hurry to fill the Circle. I’d rather have 6 people who are all in than 12 who are half-present. And by “all in,” I don’t mean you need to spend all your time in the group to get results—you won’t. But you’ll feel the connection anyway.

Why this is different

Everyone says their community is different. Here’s what I can actually point to:

It’s capped at 12. Not “intimate” as a marketing word—literally twelve people maximum. I will know your patterns. I will remember what you said last week.

I’m in the room. I’m not outsourcing facilitation or disappearing after the launch. This is my practice too.

There’s a concrete anchor. Not vague “accountability”—a specific, daily, embodied practice. The warm lunch. Your 3pm. The data your body gives you every single day.

I’ve done this before. The studio for over a decade. The Wise Women group still going strong. I know how to hold a container that changes people.

Why I’m telling you this

I think a lot of you are tired of the same thing I’m tired of: big groups that feel lonely. Facilitators who disappear. “Communities” that are really just content libraries with a comments section.

I’m not building that.

I’m building something small, slow, and real. A place where you’re not a number, and where the work actually lands. Where you leave different than you came in.

If you’re interested in joining, fill out the intake form and I’ll reach out whenever there’s space.

Not ready for the Circle but want to start the practice? Join paid membership for the Assessment, protocols, and tools.

I’ll be in touch.

—Savitree