The 90/10 rule: why your rhythm needs room to breathe

Perfection kills momentum. Here's what works instead.

One of my 10% nights. The win is what you return to next.

We’re a week into December.

If your rhythm slipped over the last week—travel, guests, leftovers, sugar, late nights—you might feel the itch to “start over on Monday.” Or in January.

No.

Don’t torch your own momentum.

You didn’t “break” the rhythm.
You’re deciding the rhythm is broken.

Today I want to show you the 90/10 Rule I use in my own life, and what I teach:

Your nervous system doesn’t need perfection.
It needs a stable place to return to.

That’s the whole game.

Perfection kills rhythm

Perfection looks like:

• I’ll eat warm, on time all week… or what’s the point?

• I already had dessert at lunch, I may as well keep going (and start back on Monday).

• I missed my 11:45–12:15 lunch window, I’ll just skip and make up for it later.

• Travel blew my schedule; I’ll reset in January.

Perfection sounds disciplined. But in real life, it’s fragile.

One late meeting.
One surprise invite.
One holiday.

Snap—the “perfect” plan shatters, and with it, your trust in yourself.

The way my life is—frequent travel; work projects that could easily take me off my food rhythm; continuous family milestones that call for support or celebration; and the holiday season we’re walking into—one might say it’s “smarter” to just start again in January after things settle down.

That’s exactly how you lose a whole month you didn’t need to lose.

Rhythm is different.

Rhythm says:

• I chose my anchors once. My job is to return to them.

• I can flex 10% of the time as long as I come home 90% of the time.

• The miss is not the problem. The delay in return is.
  

Perfection measures how long you can white-knuckle a streak.
Rhythm measures your return rate.

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If you want to see how this looks across a full day—anchors, troubleshooting, and all—my paid Decide → Design → Do post walks you through the whole rhythm map.

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What the 90/10 Rule really is

Most people hear “90/10” and think: 90% “good” food, 10% “bad” food.

That’s not what I’m talking about.

My 90/10 Rule is about rhythm, not morality.

• 90% of the time: you honor your anchors—
  your lunch window, warm food, simple movement, basic bedtime.

• 10% of the time: life happens—
  late dinners, travel, parties, takeout, weird timing, zero cooking.

The win is not:

• zero 10% days

• never eating dessert

• never missing your “perfect” window

The win is:

“I can have a 10% day and still trust myself to step back into my 90% at the next possible meal.”

That’s sovereignty.
You made the decision once. You keep returning to it.
You’re not renegotiating your life at every fork in the road.

Your anchor is the point, not your streak

Let’s talk about your lunch anchor, because lunch is where so many of you are losing the day.

Say your anchor is:

• 11:45–12:15 — warm, one-bowl lunch

On a 90% day, that might look like:

• Simple kitchari or lentil soup you made once and reheated

• Warm leftovers from last night’s real food

• A quick sauté of veggies + egg + rice

On a 10% day, it might look like:

• Lunch at 2:30 after a back-to-back meeting block

• Airport food at a weird hour

• Chips and dip before a holiday party because you never actually stopped to eat

• Oops, lunch was coffee and a cookie

Here’s where perfection and rhythm split:

Perfection brain:

• I blew it.

• I’ll skip dinner / I’ll only have salad / I’ll restart on Monday / I need a full reset.

Rhythm brain (90/10):

• Okay, that was my 10%. Next meal, I go back to my anchor.
  

Maybe dinner can’t be at your exact ideal time because of plans. That happens to me more often than you’d think. Fine.

But what can you protect?

• A warm plate instead of cold grazing

• A set window instead of whenever

• Sitting down instead of hovering over the sink

Don’t punish the miss.
Shorten the distance between the miss and the return.

That distance is where exhaustion, bloating, and self-doubt live.

How to use 90/10 this week

Don’t wait for January.

Use this rule right now, inside the holiday swirl.

1. Decide your 90% anchors

Keep this simple. Choose 2–3 anchors, not 17.

For example:

• Lunch: 11:45–12:15, warm, one-bowl

• Evening: screens off by 10:00, in bed by 10:30

• Movement: 10–20 minutes of walking or stretching most days

Write them down. These are your home base.

You’re not promising to hit them perfectly.
You’re promising to return to them.

2. Name your 10% ahead of time

Look at the next 7 days.

Where do you already know rhythm will bend?

• Holiday party Thursday night

• Travel day next weekend

• Big project deadline mid-week

• Kids’ event at dinner time

Mark those as your likely 10% pockets.

Now you’re not failing.
You’re choosing:

“These are the days where I’ll flex, and I’m already committed to coming back to my anchors the very next meal.”

3. When you slip, ask only this:

At the first moment you notice you’re off—whether it’s 3 pm chocolate, a skipped lunch, or too much snacking—pause and ask:

“What’s the next meal where I can return to my anchor?”

Not tomorrow.
Not Monday.
Next.

• If lunch went off the rails: protect dinner.

• If dinner was chaos: protect tomorrow’s warm, on-time lunch.

• If today is gone: protect tomorrow’s first anchor on your list.

Then follow through once.
That one return reactivates your self-trust far more than a perfect week you can’t sustain.

This is what sovereignty looks like

Sovereignty is not “I never break my rules.”

It’s:

• I decided what supports my body.

• I gave that decision a shape—time, temperature, and simplicity.

• I fully expect life to be 10% messy.

• I trust myself to come home 90% of the time.

You’re not waiting for the calendar to give you permission to recommit.
You’re not outsourcing your rhythm to whoever’s cooking, scheduling, or inviting.

You’re the one holding the design.

And when you’re the one holding the design, your body feels it:

• Less 3 pm crash

• Fewer ‘I’m so behind’ spirals

• Clearer decisions (because your blood sugar isn’t screaming over your intuition)

• A quiet sense of I can count on myself

That’s the real point of all of this.

Try this for the next 7 days

For the next week, run this exact experiment:

1. Pick your 2–3 anchors.
   If you choose nothing else, choose your warm, on-time lunch window.

2. Circle your likely 10% days.
   Parties, travel, deadlines—mark them without drama.

3. When you slip, shorten the distance.
   Ask: “What’s the next meal where I can come back?” Then do it once.

4. At the end of the week, review:

   • How many times did I return?

   • How did my afternoons feel?

   • How did my sleep feel?

Don’t grade yourself on how “perfect” you were.
Grade yourself on return rate.

If you want to go deeper into building a rhythm that can actually hold real life—holidays, launches, stress, all of it—my latest Wellness Alchemy post, Decide → Design → Do walks you through my full rhythm framework and troubleshooting grid. Paid subscribers already have access; you can unlock it any time.

Your rhythm doesn’t need you to be flawless.
It needs you to come home.

Eat warm, breathe slow, keep a rhythm.

Savitree