In my years of coaching daily practice, I hear this a lot in social settings:
I do not do rules. I want freedom.
Doing the same thing daily is boring. I need spontaneity and flow.
The real question is:
where do you want freedom, spontaneity, and flow?
Most of us want it in our relationships and in the meaningful work we came here to do. Those are the places that get sabotaged when we don’t feel safe on the inside. When we’re wobbly, we cling or we check out. We lose presence.
To be spontaneous, you need to feel safe in your own skin so you can play. You need to trust the moment. You need discernment to sense when spontaneity is called for. It’s case by case.
To enter flow, you need steady attention. You need the capacity to be with one thing long enough that time gets generous — you finish and feel like you had more time than the clock gave you, because you were fully there.
Freedom is not doing what you feel like doing. Freedom is doing what you actually want to do despite what you feel like doing; despite your mood.
So how do we build that inner safety?
We begin with foundations —
The body relaxes when it can count on rhythm. Morning habits you can do by muscle memory help. Meals leverage the morning habits throughout the day.
When your body knows mealtime is set, and it has a general sense of the nourishment to come, your mind stops bracing. No guessing, no constant negotiation about where energy will come from. Your attention is no longer tied up managing the basics. Bandwidth returns to what you care about.
When the foundation is set, you create space for creativity, authenticity, and trust in yourself. Then the world.
This is not about rigid plans. It’s about structure that breathes. It’s as powerful as choosing the right foods to bring digestion back online so that you can process life.
Make your mealtimes predictable. Keep everyday meals simple and repeatable. Let consistency hold the floor so your true freedom can dance.
Consistency is not boring. It is the framework that makes life effortlessly delicious.
—
If you want a tiny experiment, choose two breakfasts, two lunches, and two dinners you genuinely enjoy. Eat them at consistent times for a week. Notice your energy, your mood, and your attention. Let the body show you what safety tastes like. From there you can fly.
– Savitree
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I agree 100% with you, dear. I stayed at a onsen/hot spring resort in Japan last Sep. The guests are not allowed to eat meals in their rooms, meanwhile both delicious and nourishing breakfast and dinner are served at the resort restaurant at specific time periods.
That's the best resort experience I have ever had.
I used to follow ‘eat when you’re hungry’ quite seriously and forgot to eat completely - with my hunger tugged under my over compensating stress.
Eating on time helped me come back to my rhythm, also he helped reduce my inappropriate snacking and need for sweet or salty foods 🥺 - they were doing more harm than help.
You truly have a knack guiding us back to the roots and belong to ourselves with simplicity.