My daughter’s illness taught me how to heal

A journey through food, presence, and the sacred discipline of eating well

Food was my first form of prayer.

Before I ever sat in formal meditation, I learned to sit with food.

My daughter got sick when she was four. And she stayed sick for ten months.

At the time, I didn’t know how to cook. I ate out. My kitchen was stocked with boxed and canned foods: mac and cheese, spaghetti and jarred sauce, peanut butter and jelly, microwave rice, canned tuna, chips, salsa, … and bread, apples, and bananas. I had grains, but they sat in the pantry long enough for meal moths to move in. Gross, I know. I had no idea how to use them… or rather, they were less convenient, so I had no idea how to get myself to use them.

Over those ten months, we tried antibiotics again and again. Nothing helped. In fact my daughter got worse. Then a friend mentioned an integrative doctor. I took her in, and from that visit, we eliminated one, ONE, ingredient from her diet, and within three days, her croupy cough - the one she had had for nearly a year - disappeared. Completely.

But that doctor still wanted to prescribe antibiotics for her ear infections. I was done with that, so I found a fully holistic doctor instead. I kid you not, her symptoms were gone by the next afternoon, and the ear infections never came back.

The solution? No dairy. Then no wheat or sugar. (Not to worry, this was not to be forever)

This was in the early 2000s, long before the market was full of gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free everything. And I had no kitchen skills. So I decided to hire a whole foods chef. And after that, an Ayurvedic one.

They were the best investments I ever made.

They came to my home and worked with me in my own kitchen using my own cookware and my own appliances.

• The whole foods chef walked me through the grocery store and taught me how to shop. He taught me the vegetables, their benefits, how to chop, and how to breathe while doing it. He taught me to cook real food. —And my foggy head cleared up.

• The Ayurvedic chef taught me how to elevate the energy of the kitchen itself; how to treat it like a sacred space so I could show up differently inside it. She taught me to cook with intention, to tickle the vegetables while washing them, to bring joy into the process, and to my relationship with food. — And my weak digestion got strong.

Both were healers, and healers know: it’s not just about the food. It’s about how you choose to engage with it. It’s about energy and how its input affects its output.

So I started chopping slowly. Cooking intentionally. Digesting completely.

This is where I learned presence.

• I breathed while chopping. I chanted Sanskrit mantras while cooking. I plated meals like they mattered, because they did.

• Before eating, we said a blessing:
  In this food, we see clearly the presence of the entire Universe supporting our existence. Thank you for this meal.

• We sat and chewed our food. When the kids were little, I’d count their chews out loud (to 32) before they swallowed.
  Make the food like soup, then swallow, I’d say. Even chew your soup (your smoothie, your milk).

• I rested my fork between bites and waited until the food had landed in my stomach before picking it up again. This simple pause told my body it could take its time. If you keep your utensil in hand the whole meal, you’re more likely to shovel food in on autopilot.

These habits - how we showed up to eat - were just as important as what we were eating.

No. Actually, more important.

If you had to choose between eating the healthiest food while yelling across the room, multitasking at your desk, scrolling your phone, or watching TV

vs.

eating something less ideal, like a food bar, but doing it slowly, consciously, and in peace…

…choose the second.

And I’m not even a fan of food bars. I don’t care how “clean” they claim to be.

How you show up to food is a discipline. A prayer. A meditation.

• It asks you to slow down.
  Can you do that?

• It asks you to be intentional.
  Are you aware of what you’re feeding yourself, energetically and psychically?

• It asks you to stop and bring your full attention to this moment.
  Are you willing?

When you answer yes to these, the Universe meets you where you are. It will upgrade the intelligence in your cells, your body and mind. It will offer you grace.

And by grace, I don’t mean forgiveness because you did something wrong. I mean repair. Restoration. Vitality. Wholeness. Because you are loved.

Love, Savitree

P.S. My publication name just changed from Decision Confidence to Food as Medicine. While I’ll continue to share guidance on meditation, mindset, and habits to boost self-awareness, I’m honing in on food and healing. Because it was the first step — and throughline — in my healing journey, and to this day, I get the most DMs about it. I look forward to continuing the conversation with you!